Is It Instinct for a Parent to Protect a Baby
- Understanding parent-child relationship
- Why is a positive parent-kid relationship important?
- Parent-child human relationship at various stages
- Types of parent-kid relationships
- Principles of parent-kid relationship
- Activities that help in parent-kid bonding
- How to strengthen a parent-kid relationship?
- Five problems that ruin a parent-kid relationship
A stiff parent-child relationship requires a lot of effort and understanding. The relationship y'all develop with your children correct from their infancy forms the basis of their social and emotional development. Simply it may not e'er be easy. With their growing age, changing moods, and different challenges, you may find information technology hard to bond with them. In such situations, in that location are several factors that need to be considered. For example, you need to understand them and help them cope with their problems effectively without being domineering. This mail will provide you the principles of the human relationship between parents and children, including all the different ways and activities to aid y'all bond with them.
Understanding Parent-child Relationship
A parent-kid relationship (PCR) is i that nurtures the physical, emotional, and social development of the child. It'due south a unique bond that every child and parent experience, enjoy and nurture.
The relationship lays the foundation for the child's personality, choices, and overall behavior. Studies advise that a healthy parent-child human relationship leads to positive outcomes for the children and the family (one).
Keep reading to know about the importance of parent-child bonding.
Why Is A Positive Parent-child Relationship Of import?
Loving parents create loving children. Your relationship with your children and how attached you are to them indicates how the child is going to exist in the future.
[ Read: Parenting Styles And Their Influence ]
Here are a few positive outcomes of a healthy PCR.
- Young children who grow with a secure and good for you attachment to their parents stand a ameliorate chance of developing happy and content relationships with others in their life.
- A child who has a secure relationship with parent learns to regulate emotions under stress and in difficult situations.
- Promotes the kid's mental, linguistic and emotional development.
- Helps the kid showroom optimistic and confident social behaviors.
- Healthy parent involvement and intervention in the kid'due south mean solar day-to-day life lay the foundation for improve social and academic skills (ii).
- A secure attachment leads to a healthy social, emotional, cognitive, and motivational evolution (iii). Children also gain potent problem-solving skills when they have a positive relationship with their parents.
The relationship between parents and children not but needs to be strong but also flexible because you can't behave with a 10-twelvemonth-former in the aforementioned way y'all acquit with a 3-yr-sometime.
Parent-child Relationship At Diverse Stages
Parenting is a full-time job with perks and challenges that grow equally the child grows. Here, we take a look at the PCR at various stages:
Infancy — building warmth and security
In the showtime six months, infants mostly cry, eat, sleep, pee, and poop. And in response, the parents hold, feed, burp, alter and launder the infant. This style parents stay virtually to the baby while tending to them.
When the babe is hungry, he gets cranky. When the parent feeds him, the infant'south needs are met and he is happy. The parent also feels happy for beingness able to satisfy the baby's needs.
When parents perform their primary office of nurturing, loving, and caring for the kid, it creates a well-defined and unique parent-child human relationship.
By their first birthday, infants are likely to develop a secure attachment with the parents or the primary caregiver.
Toddlerhood — stepping into the society
When the child becomes a toddler, the focus is on shaping the child's behavior by teaching, guiding, and nurturing him. Parents facilitate the socialization procedure subtly during the first two years and prepare the child to fit into a social group or the society at large.
[ Read: Uninvolved Parenting ]
Preschool — developing a parenting style
Different parenting styles emerge, with one style becoming prominent as the child attains the preschool age (4). Nevertheless, you cannot use one item style consistently across all situations; you lot need to use a combination of strategies to heighten children. And the parent-child relationship tin can exist all-time described by the current parenting style adopted by the parents.
Enquiry shows that children of:
- administrative parents (5) are confident, happy, and focused.
- authoritarian parents are unhappy, less confident, and fearful (6).
- permissive parents lack social skills, are irresponsible, and have poor emotional regulation.
- neglectful parents have more behavioral and psychological problems than other youngsters (7).
School age — knowing almost a world beyond abode
When the child starts elementary school, at that place is a shift in his focus from parents to peers, just this does not change the dynamics of the PCR. With the child's increasing cognitive and social skills, he goes beyond the domicile setting.
This is the time when the communication becomes two-way. The kid is in a position to tell the parent what he wants, and express his likes and dislikes. Your parenting way volition make up one's mind if the communication volition be ii-mode or a one-way.
Parenting styles remain the same as the child grows and the fashion used in the preschool historic period continues to impact fifty-fifty in the middle-childhood historic period. Research studies indicate that in the case of (7):
- Administrative parenting, children abound up to exist socially competent and have high self-esteem.
- Authoritarian parenting, children take low self-esteem, low social skills, and are highly aggressive.
- Permissive parenting, children go impulsive, ambitious, and irresponsible.
Adolescence — giving personal infinite to the kid
Teenage is a turbulent and vulnerable phase, which brings about physical and psychological changes in the child. Parents should acknowledge and understand their teen's needs, support them, and give them the liberty they need without beingness overly decision-making.
Parenting with love and acceptance by adopting a positive arroyo even during challenging times can be an effective way to guide teenagers.
Adulthood — talking on equal terms
Adulthood is the time when stability starts setting in. The parent and the grown-up child are now able to relate to each other. Adult children are sometimes torn between their personal and aged parents. It tin be quite stressful to balance between the ii. Withal, about adults practice maintain a good for you relationship with their parents.
[ Read: Disciplinarian Parenting Style ]
The requirements and priorities of i family are different from those of another. For case, the bond you share with your child may not be the same as the 1 your friend shares with their child. This means that your type of parent-child bond is different from that of your friend.
Then, what is your type of bond?
Types Of Parent-child Relationships
The types of relationship might depend on your parenting style. A PCR can be broadly categorized into the following (viii):
1. Secure relationship:
Children feel safety with their parents/caregivers and believe that they volition be taken care of. A secure relationship is formed when the parents are consistently responsive to their children's needs.
Children who relish a secured relationship with their parents are more likely to be independent and self-confident afterwards. They collaborate well socially and are ameliorate able to regulate their emotions.
2. Avoidant relationship:
Children feel insecure because parents are non responsive to their needs. They are forced to get contained and accept intendance of themselves as children.
An insecure parent-child attachment leads to developmental and adjustment problems, as well as behavioral issues such as biting, pushing and striking.
Kids who experience this relationship are more than probable to have poor social skills (e.g., withdrawal or aggression), and tend to be disobedient and impulsive.
Yet, this does non imply that they are destined to fail in life. Alter can certainly occur as the child grows.
3. Ambivalent relationship:
The needs of the child are sometimes met and sometimes not. Parents answer just not consistently.
For instance, the parent might not answer immediately to a child that is hungry or crying as they are busy with piece of work. But they might respond after some time. These children grow upwards to exist clingy and tend to be over-emotional.
4. Unorganized relationship:
In this relationship, parents neglect the children's needs and the kids larn non to expect anything from their parents. In such cases, it is likely that ane or both the parents suffer from psychological conditions.
These children engage in meaningless activities and behave unusual. Some of them tend to speak fast and make it difficult for the other person to comprehend their oral communication or behavior.
So, accept you related to one of these types? And you might have realized which type is better than the others?
[ Read: How To Brand Positive Parenting Work ]
In social club to develop a ameliorate bond, you demand to follow certain bones principles of parenting, which we discuss next.
Principles Of Parent-Child Relationship
There is no 'one-size-fits-all' when it comes to parenting. Yet, the following principles lay the foundation for positive parenting:
- Set some parenting goals: Whether you want to raise a healthy and disciplined child or have a healthy parent-child human relationship, place your goals and understand what you need to do to achieve them.
- Bring in warmth and construction in your interactions: Treat every interaction as an opportunity to connect with your child. Exist a warm and receptive parent, who encourages interaction. Structure your interaction by having rules, boundaries, and consequences in place and ensure that your children understand them.
- Footing rules are a must: Basis rules tell your children how to and how non to acquit. Rules have to be set by discussing with the kid, coming to a mid point between the parents' and the child'due south needs. You tin can firmly implement such rules which are comfortable and meaningful to both. But having too many rules is not a expert idea.
- Acknowledge and empathize with your child: Whether information technology'due south a happy or difficult state of affairs, acknowledge your child'south feelings, understand them, and reassure them that they can depend on you to solve all their problems.
- Take a problem-solving arroyo to conflicts: When your child has a problem, attempt to look for a solution instead of punishing your child. Punishments demoralize your child and they lose trust in you. But when y'all piece of work with them to find a solution, they also learn.
These principles tin guide parents at a macro level. What about everyday interactions? How can y'all strengthen your bond with your kid through everyday routines?
[ Read: Negative And Positive Parenting ]
Activities That Help In Parent-Child Bonding
Forming a connexion with your kid is the crux of a healthy PCR. And when the connection is in identify, your children tend to follow the rules voluntarily. One way to strengthen your bond with your children is to teach positive interactions into your daily routine. Here'south how yous can exercise that:
- Positively reinforce your children every 24-hour interval: It tin be past words "very good" or a physical gesture such equally a pat on the back or hug. See what works for the child. The experience of early on interpersonal touch on is linked with self-esteem, life satisfaction, and social competence in the later on years of the kid. Information technology also positively affects the kid's physical and psychological development (7).
Hug your children when they wake up in the forenoon and earlier they sleep at night, and as many times you lot can during the twenty-four hour period. Rub their shoulders, maintain eye contact, and pat their backs to show them you care.
Older children might non like the concrete touch or may feel embarrassed when you hug them in front end of their peers. Don't strength it on them. Be subtle and make them sympathise that hugging to show affection and beloved is non a bad thing.
- Play with them: Go a child when you are playing with your kids. This allows them to cooperate with yous. Indulge in activities such as edifice Lego sets or pretend-play with the little ones, or pair up for video games or a game of basketball/cricket.
- Express joy together: Parenting doesn't always have to be serious. Sharing a few lighter moments helps in edifice some great memories.
- Have one-on-one interaction: Take time out from your daily schedule to interact with them about their needs and how they plan to meet them. Have some parent-child fourth dimension every day to limited your honey for them, play with them, and practice something together.
- Alive the moment: From the moment your children wake upwardly till you put them to bed, how often exercise yous alive your moments? Don't rush your daily schedule every bit if it's a 'to-do' thing. Be present, relish, and live the moment. There can't be anything more fulfilling than that.
- Nurture the bond: Yep, small gestures such as brushing your kid's hair, help in nurturing the bond. Usually, teens or preteens don't like it when you lot try to do so, simply if you tin practice this with younger children. They might non become annoyed and may even be okay with it.
- Put away your gadgets: When you are interacting with your children, ensure that your mobile phone is switched off or on silent mode, the television is turned off, and other gadgets away from sight. This niggling gesture shows that you value them more others and can help strengthen the bond.
- Talk and cuddle at bedtime: Bedtime should be relaxed and non forced. Information technology should be a safety time when your children are likely to open up up about their fears and worries. Heed to them and acknowledge their feelings to reassure that you are there for them to solve their issues.
When you introduce these activities in your daily routine, you lot will most certainly lay the foundation for a healthy relationship. Once a strong foundation is laid, you can piece of work on strengthening the bond.
[ Read: Tips To Go A Improve Parent ]
How To Strengthen Parent-child Human relationship?
According to the American Psychological Association, a loftier-quality parent-child relationship is important for healthy evolution (9). To have a salubrious PCR, parents must be responsive, trustworthy, and loving. Here are some tips for strengthening the human relationship:
- Start from the kickoff: Mothers class a bond with the kid right from the womb while the father-child bail begins the moment the baby is born. Studies (10) suggest that fathers who were involved with the child in the early days had greater bonding later in life.
- Invest time and effort: The more time and effort you put into your relationship, the stronger your bond volition plough out to exist. Parents are naturally programmed to beloved their offspring, simply qualitative time and try are essential to bear witness that love. Teens need privacy, while younger kids need parental intervention and interaction.
- Prioritize your relationship with the child: Your kids are your priority. So testify it to them in action: spend every bit much time equally you can with your child instead of just 'fitting' them in your schedule.
- Be available: Exist responsive to your child'southward concrete and emotional needs. It is important to be attentive, loving and seeing things from the child's perspective.
- Empathise: Assistance your children express their emotions. Be compassionate and compassionate and allow them vent out their emotions. This may not exist easy when you are a first-time parent, but a little do helps. Seeing things from your child's perspective will help you lot understand the reasons for their cranky behavior.
- Communication: Advice with your child has to be fair, firm, and friendly. Exist articulate about your expectations, what they tin can look from you and any ground rules and consequences for non following them. That said, don't let the child button your buttons. Equally a parent, y'all demand to handle it maturely and calmly.
- Take agile involvement in their studies, friends, and activities: Parents who are involved in their child'southward life have stiff parent-child relationships. Learn what's happening with them, understand their academics, and know their friends. Stay in regular bear upon with your kid'south teachers or volunteer at school if y'all have leisure time.
- Listen actively: Listening passively while doing your work and responding with an occasional 'hmm' or 'OK' in betwixt shows that y'all are not interested. When your child speaks to you, stop any it is that y'all are doing and mind to them. Requite them your full attention, inquire questions or reiterate what they said. Remember to maintain eye contact while talking to them.
- Make family time important: Have meals together and talk about your day over dinner. Make it a regular practice to go to movies, events, or family outings.
- Trust your child and be trustworthy: Trust is the foundation of every relationship. Your kid should be able to rely on yous and experience secure. Earn their trust by keeping upwards your promises, by giving them privacy and keeping their confidence. Yet, do non trust your child blindly, merely have your checks in place.
- Encourage your child: Children demand abiding encouragement and motivation to build their confidence and self-esteem. If you only criticize or correct them all the time, they volition feel that their actions or opinions are not valued.
- Respect your kid: Treat your children every bit individuals and acknowledge their opinions and beliefs. While you are responsible to a sure extent in forming beliefs and opinions, other inapplicable factors as well contribute to it. Respect their views so that they respect yous.
The love and intendance that you offer to your child build a good for you and positive human relationship. But, some behavioral problems tin lead to a poor PCR.
[ Read: What Is Co-Parenting ]
V Problems That Can Ruin Parent-child Relationship
The relation that yous form with your children during the early years forms the foundation for their later years. If the early parent-child relationship is strained due to various issues, your child's personality will exist affected. Hither are a few common parent-child relationship problems that y'all should avoid:
- Concrete and mental corruption: Some parents (usually alcoholics and addicts) might physically abuse the child while some might verbally abuse by criticizing them, shouting at them, or putting them downward repeatedly, which can impairment the kid.
Corruption during babyhood could turn children into calumniating adults who sick-treat their parents and children, creating a vicious cycle.
- Disrespect: Respect is mutual and has to exist earned. Equally a parent, you demand to provide for the child physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. If any of these needs are non taken care of, and so children begin to disrespect the parents. Such children tend to disobey the parents, break the rules, and rely more on others for their needs and desires.
Also, you need to give due respect to the child in the style you talk and behave with them.
- Poor communication: Poor or nonexistent communication between the parent and child tin be frustrating. This commonly stems from the parents' conventionalities that their children don't listen to them, and children thinking that their parents don't understand them. This perspective freezes the advice betwixt the two, resulting in anger, bitterness, and sorrow.
- Codependency: Some parent-child relationships are codependent; the child is expected to take care of the parents especially when the parent is disabled or terminally sick. So, the kid takes on the responsibility of making the parent happy, resolves family problems, or even takes up the daily chores at home. They might also put their parents' needs before theirs, and grow up to have a codependent personality.
- Mistrust: If children repeatedly make mistakes or brandish unruly behavior, then parents have difficulty trusting them. If parents want to reestablish the trust, then they demand to give their children the opportunity to evidence that they are trustworthy.
[ Read: Administrative Parenting Manner ]
It'due south a fact that parenting is non easy. But and then, information technology is up to yous as the mature and responsible developed, to create a healthy and loving bond with your child that makes life easy for the both of you. However, if y'all take severe problems with your child and are unable to bargain with them on your own, know that help is at hand. Consult a child psychologist to help your child and yourself.
Want to tell us about any parenting strategies? Utilize our comments section below.
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Shreshtha Dhar is a licensed Clinical Psychologist running her private practice Thought Arts and crafts in Kolkata. She has special interest in the emotional and behavioral bug of both children and adults. Shreshtha has previosuly worked as a lecturer, published various inquiry papers and contributed to magazines. She provides long distance teleconsultation in English, Hindi and Bengali.
Kalpana Nadimpalli graduated in English language Literature and Psychology. Her fascination for the corporate world made her do a Masters in Business Administration. Existence a mother of 2 boys, she could naturally fit into the shoes of a writer at MomJunction. She wrote manufactures on new parenting and relationships. Previously, Kalpana worked as a product information specialist and technical author. During her... more than
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